weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
