I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Let's paint friendship bongs
I will pee on everything he values.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
my poor anus
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
