At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
