You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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