come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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