babies were throwing up all over the place
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
