playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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