Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
