And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
