Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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