That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
