if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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