My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
