We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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