I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
