Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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