You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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