I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
