he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
