He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
