Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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