We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
