at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
