It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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