fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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