Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
