I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
