I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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