I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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