Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
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you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize