Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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