Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
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There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
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$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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