She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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