standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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