Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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