I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i believe in u and ur pee
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
