I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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