we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
