So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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