we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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