I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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