census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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