somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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