Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
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he told me I talked like a deaf person
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
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you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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