i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
