You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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