Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize