I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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