He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
