So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize