dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
