her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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