i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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