You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
