btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
