do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
