I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
