I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
