Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
