life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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