i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Randomize
