I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
