would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
