he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
