Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
