You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize