I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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