But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
