Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
