Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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