another moral hangover. fuck.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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