God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
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the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
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She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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