why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm too high and old for this...
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
