I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Drunk is not a location!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
