I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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