are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
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