I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
