Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
